The Cowboy of Cambourne

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A cowboy song for my Dad. Happy birthday JP!

Things to know about my Dad for this song to make sense:

1. He went to America recently and dug the cowboy stuff.
2. He saw a Stetson hat he really liked but it was too expensive so he bought a cheaper one and has regretted it ever since.
3. He bought an authentic American cowboy belt but then found out the label said "Made in China"
4. He lives in Cambourne.
5. He drives an Audi
5. He does a lot of paperwork.
6. His favourite meal is eggs, chips and beans.
7. I don't know if he has got piles.

lyrics

There was a guy called Johnny P
Who rode across these plains
Inside a kinda shiny horse,
Think 'Audi' was its name
He'd tighten up his leather belt
Put on his Stetson hat
And practise his best scowling
At the next door neighbour's cat

His Stetson hat was adequate,
Though wasn't quite the greatest
He'd passed the perfect one because
The price was quite inflated
American authenticity
Was all that he desired
So he bought himself a cowboy belt
But it said "Made in China"

JP… aaaaah
JP… aaaaah

His cowboy walk was quite the talk
Of terror through the town
Until they learned the truth behind
His awkward walks around
He'd swing his swagger wide
So it seemed like a chosen style
But in actual fact he walked that way
Due mainly to his piles

So daily JP sits around
And stays inside the home
His only kind of fightin talk
Is when he has a moan
Now Cambourne ain't more dangerous
But neither is it safer
Coz the only bullets used are
Bullet points upon his papers

JP… aaaaah
JP… aaaaah
When his hat and belt are worn
He's the Cowboy of Cambourne

The local drinkin holes are lousy and the good ones are too far
So you'll never see this cowboy causin' chaos at the bar
And at night instead of campfires it's a television screen
But he's happy with his meal of eggs and chips and cowboy beans

JP… aaaaah
JP… aaaaah
When his hat and belt are worn
He's the Cowboy of Cambourne

credits

from Birthday Songs, released August 1, 2010

tags

tags: comedy UK

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